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Walking with Rama
by F. S.

"tell you a story....

Some gal or guy born in 1941 was 9 when his spiritual advisor was about to be born. Only thing was that, Communism spread into Tibet in the form of a hostile takeover and her/his teacher went to San Diego, America. America? This wasn't like the last lifetimes where this guy or gal tended over his/her friend, Rama. It was a harsh realm where s/he was (perhaps) imprisoned and never got meet the being s/he'd been close to for eons...

That guy or gal is 63. S/he will not meet her/his friend/teacher in this lifetime. Assuming the bardo is roughly 35 years and that beautiful being lives to 70, we are looking at her/him landing in the year 2046.

Way past Arthur C Clarke or George Orwell predicted."

* * *

I know her/him ... I am her/him.

Sometimes it is unbelievably hard. Other times it's a gift.

See, in one situation I will feel heartache, frustration and torment which tears me apart, for the 6 months that I missed him by. Why, why why? But, other times I quiver with bliss at his close, intense proximity to me - a connection which is only possible because I never experienced the physical. It is like the development of an extra sense through the deprivation of another.

I read and listen to student's tales of power and experiences with Rama, and a part of me is warmed and inspired, while another part is tortured. I constantly endeavor to deal with that. To recognize jealousy and pain within myself is a good thing - I accept them, and actively redirect he energy of these emotions to drive me further on my path. I use them as fuel to commit to projects for him that teach me, discipline me and take me through moments of bliss. I sense he's nearby, watching, caring, loving me. He guides me, comforts me, distracts and refocuses me when I need it.

Once when I was struggling, I sat and read from Thich Nhat Hanh:

"... If you were to hear on the radio that the Buddha is going to reappear on Gridhrakuta Mountain and the public is invited to join him for walking meditation, all the seats on all the airplanes to India would be booked, and you might feel frustrated, because you want to go, also. Even if you were lucky enough to get a seat on that plane, it still might not be possible for you to enjoy practicing walking meditation with the Buddha. There would be *so* many people, most of whom don't know how to practice breathing in and out and dwelling in the present moment while walking. What is the use of going there?

Look deeply at your intention. Do you want to fly halfway around the world so that later you can say you were with the Buddha? Many people want to do just that. They arrive at a place of pilgrimage, unable to be in the here and now. After a few minutes of seeing the place, they rush to the next place. They take pictures to prove they were there, and they are eager to return home to show their friends. "I was there. I have proof. That is me standing beside the Buddha." That would be the desire of many of the people who would go there. They are not able to walk with the Buddha. They are not able to be in the here and the now. They only want to say, "I was there, and this is me standing beside the Buddha." But it is not true. They were not there. And that is not the Buddha. "Being there" is a concept, and the Buddha that you see is a mere appearance. You cannot photograph the real Buddha, even if you have a very expensive camera.

If you don't have the opportunity to fly to India, please practice walking at home, and you can really hold the hand of the Buddha while you walk. Just walk in peace and happiness, and the Buddha is there with you. The one who flies to India and returns with his photo taken with the Buddha has not seen the real Buddha. You have the reality; he has only a sign. Don't run around looking for photo opportunities. Touch the real Buddha. He is available. Take his hand and practice walking meditation. When you can touch the ultimate dimension, you walk with the Buddha..."

(Thich Nhat Hanh, "The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching - Transforming Suffering into Peace, Joy and Liberation" pp111-112)

So, I accept I never stood on the mountain [went to a seminar] with Rama, I never had walking meditation [desert trips] with him ... nor did I meditate in the physical with him and see him fill the room with exquisite golden light. But ... I stand with him at every challenge, I walk every step with him beside me, and in every meditation - during work, walking, sitting - he is there holding my hand and sharing with me. It is truth, it is real.

The absence of tangible experiences with my teacher - no chance to look him in the eyes, hear his laugh, see his smile, feel the vibration of his voice beside me, or his energy - is the ultimate challenge for me to deal with non-attachment. I am learning to understand the reality of our existence as something greater than our present physical state. Sometimes it is excruciatingly hard - but at other times the penny drops - it all seems so easy!

The intensity of the love I have for him is incomprehensible. It is very real, very intense, very beautiful.

It is quite extraordinary as a human in this world to accept what has happened on this level to me, though it is entirely natural. Wrong continent, wrong timing, wrong lots of things. But all right for me. Clearly. It could not be any other way. I "walk with the Buddha."

 


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